ii lurrvee euu ._________

Monday, March 26

我不会怪你对我的伪装
天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
人们愚蠢鲁莽而你纤细善良
怎能让你为了我被碰伤

小小的手掌厚厚的温暖
你总能平复我不安的夜晚
不敢想的梦想透过你的眼光
我才看见它原来在前方

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁 (我身旁)
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占

没有谁能取代你在我心上 (我心上)
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

小小的手掌大大的力量
我一定也会像你一样飞翔 (一样飞翔)
你想去的地方就是我的方向
有我保护笑容尽管灿烂

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁 (我身旁)
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占

没有谁能取代你在我身上 (我身上)
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望
Woo~

要不是你出现
我一定还在沉睡
Oh 绝望的以为
生命只有黑夜

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁 (我身旁)
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占

没有谁能取代你在我身上 (我身上)
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望 Woo Wu Woo Ho~ Wu~ Ho

+otahman+ blogged @ 2:40 PM

Tuesday, March 13

now is 3am le yet i cant slp..
dunno y been slping late always..
things dont go veri smoothly for me this few weeks..
got lots of problems...
making me veri fan...

i really don wan to think anymore...
but it keep coming back to my brain...
esp late at nite when i am alone...
or lying on my bed going to slp...

that y i always keep myself busy...
to stop me from thinking...
den always ask ppl out...
so guys now u know y i keep jioing u all le ba...
but this only help when i woke up and go out...
when i come back hm...
it a different thingy...

so i always come hm veri late nowadays...
play mahjong wif wei jie friends till late...
or go out wif my pool factor friends till late...
den reach hm veri tried can slp veri fast...
sometime also drink beer with friends...
i really hate nite time i guess...
cos it seem the problems came back again...

is this wat i want in my life?
i always tell my mother not to drink to much...
saying it bad for health all that...
and now i started learning to drink...
and drinking more and more...
form beer to red wine...
6 cups to 7 cups...
7 cups to 8 cups and so on...

and now i finally understand my mother feeling...
although it help u forget the problem for a short time..
and once u awaken..
the sad things travels back to yor mind...
but at that point of time...
the short time realli helps alot...
cos at least i am not that sad during that short time...
and there are friends acc me drining and talking...
i feel i am not left alone...
i feel i am being cared...
i feel there are still these ppl accing me...

y other ppls loves seem so easy to get and feel...
but i cant get yors and cant feels yors?
why?

why my love for u seem so different from all my pervious ones?
while others are almost the same... but yors are...
i am confuse..
is it i love u much more than all my pervious,
and i am really serious about u?
if yesh den y i don wan to accept it?
y i dont dare to accept...
i really dunno..
there are somethings that stop me!
do u really love me and care for me?
is that the only problem that is stoppping me?
i guess there are more,
but i dunno how to put into words here...

are yor love for me also different?
mayb u dont even have this problem...
cos u dont even love me in the first place...
if u do? y i cant feel it?
mayb u are trying veri hard to love me only..
but i do feel yor love for another guy...

i know its stupid...
feeling someone love that is not for myself rite?
but i only can sense that..
i cant sense mine...
i cant feel mine...

i might still be happy and full of craps,
when u see me...
but deep in my heart,
there are a pool off hidden sadness...
it hard to act like nth had happen
act happy and normal like b4...
but actually smthing is bothering me...
and i am veri hurt...

i don wan to act anymore...
i just want to be myself...
when happy i am really happy..
when sad and hurt...
i really need some kind of help and care...
but who?
who can help me?
i guess no 1 can help me permently..
only temperary...
i guess onli time can slowly heal me...
so wat to do?
continue to act as happy as b4...
like wat i use to be...
till i am really heal...
life still have to go on...

does blogging now really help me feel better?
i dunno...
cos it help me spent my lonely nite time..
but at the same thing...
all the sad things and problem cant back to my mind...
anyway i am now trying to do smthing...
hopping times fly faster...
so i feel more tried and can slp easier..
and when i woke up...
can find someone go out again...
and the only thing left is blog...

okay is 4.30am aready...
been blogging and thinking of all my problem,
infront of com for 1hrs plus
i guess it is time to slp...
nite all...

`hopeing to have a better day soon!pls...

+otahman+ blogged @ 2:56 AM

Wednesday, March 7

[ Have u ever miss someone? ]

Have u ever missed someone and felt
terrible because u think tat he/she doesn't miss u?
Missing someone is a terrible but at the same
time, sweet feeling.

U will be sitting around wondering if u meant
anything to him/her.

Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.

Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her.

Looking out
of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u
by appearing downstairs.

Sitting in front of the
television but thinking of her missing the final
episode of your favourite show.

Lying on your bed,
thinking of the last time u went out together.

Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars
again, talking about everything, your dreams,
plans, future.

Logging on to the internet hoping to
see him/her online. When u realize that he/she
isn't online and did not return your page, u will
start worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone
is a way of growing up I guess. It exposes u to
loneliness. It teaches u how to cope with being
lonely and let u know that there is actually a
feeling known as emptiness.

Sometimes it feels
good to miss someone. U know that u really care
and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for
him/her. But missing someone and not knowing if
he/she is feeling the same is terrible. U feels as if u
are being left alone.

So if u miss someone, tell
him/her and let them know. At the same time, ask
if they miss u. don’t let the feeling of missing
someone become jealousy or paranoid. If u are the
one being missed and u know it, let the other party
know if u miss him/her too, tell them. Don't let
them wait.

All the above are true and real..
Because everyday i am missing her,
And i can feel the terrible feeling right now...

i have been through all of them!!

+otahman+ blogged @ 3:09 AM